During his time on the Pennsylvania Assembly, Benjamin Franklin had come into conflict with a rival legislator.

Seeking to defuse and effectively manage the relationship, he took a counterintuitive approach, which he shared in his ​autobiography​:

“Having heard that he had in his library a certain very scarce and curious book, I wrote a note to him, expressing my desire of perusing that book, and requesting he would do me the favour of lending it to me for a few days. He sent it immediately, and I returned it in about a week with another note, expressing strongly my sense of the favor. When we next met in the House, he spoke to me (which he had never done before), and with great civility; and he ever after manifested a readiness to serve me on all occasions, so that we became great friends, and our friendship continued to his death.”

The experience sparked an observation of an interesting psychological phenomenon:

“He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.”

In other words, a person who has performed a favor for you is more likely to perform another than if you had performed a favor for them.

The core insight: Performing a favor for someone makes you like them more.

This idea, now commonly known as the Ben Franklin Effect, has been supported by more recent scientific research:

In 1969, researchers Jon Jecker and David Landy ​conducted an experiment​ in which participants were asked to return prize money after participating in a Q&A competition.

One group of participants was asked to return the money directly by the researchers, on the grounds that they had paid it out of their own pockets and were facing money struggles.

Interestingly, that group of participants cited liking the researchers much more than the groups who were asked indirectly or not asked at all.

One hypothesis for the nature of the effect is that our brains seek internal consistency. When we perform a favor for someone, our brain quietly reasons that we must like this person. This makes us more likely to perform another favor in the future.

In the best-selling book, ​How to Win Friends & Influence People​, Dale Carnegie reasons that the request for a favor acts as a subtle form of flattery. It signals that you value the other person's resources, knowledge, or time.

The Ben Franklin Effect offers an interesting networking trick:

If you're trying to create a relationship, or even turn an enemy into a friend, you might consider what small favor you can request, rather than what you can give.

If it seems counterintuitive, it's because it is...

But you may find it works for you just as well as it did for Old Ben!