I recently came across a quote from the late Anthony Bourdain that hit me hard:

"There's a guy in my head, and all he wants to do is lay in bed all day long, smoke pot, and watch old movies and cartoons. My life is a series of stratagems, to avoid, and outwit that guy."

While the specific basis of the quote may have been the darkness that he experienced in his life—a darkness that I hope none of us ever experience—I think it's important and interesting to consider the broader insight it contains.

The Subtle Force Holding You Back

Let's start with an important truth: We all have "that guy" somewhere in our head.

It may look a bit different from person to person, but the general archetype is universal:

• It's the voice that tells you the bed is warm and cozy.
• It's the voice that says not to take that step into the unknown.
• It's the voice that wants you to put off that hard conversation.
• It's the voice that declares you aren't capable of that new thing.
• It's the voice that begs you to be realistic.

We've all felt the pull—the subtle force of that voice in our life.

It wants all the short-term pleasures and none of the friction, pain, or struggle.

It is loud—especially at the start, when you have no evidence to prove it wrong.

The harsh reality: You can never silence the voice, you simply learn to resist.

To resist that subtle force is to take control of your life.

To resist that subtle force is the ultimate act of service to your future self.

To resist that subtle force is the most meaningful fight of your life.

The Truth About What You Want In Life

Another important truth: Everything meaningful in life is on the other side of hearing that voice loud and clear and acting in spite of it.

That won't be fun—at least not in the traditional sense of the word—but everything worth wanting in life is on the other side of something painful to endure:

• Want meaningful relationships? You'd better be willing to endure hundreds of difficult conversations.
• Want a strong, fit body? You'd better be willing to endure hundreds of hard workouts and bland meals.
• Want a calm mind? You'd better be willing to endure hundreds of hours of difficult stillness.
• Want a powerful career? You'd better be willing to endure hundreds of hours of painful focused effort.
• Want financial freedom? You'd better be willing to endure the pain of forgone material pleasures as you invest in your future.

Resisting that voice in your head—acting in spite of it—is never easy, but if you zoom out, it is always worth it.

Life is hard, but fortunately, you get to choose your hard.

It's hard to build deep, meaningful connections with people. It requires vulnerability and a willingness to engage in challenging conversations. It's also hard to live on the surface with everyone around you and never experience the joy that depth can bring.

It's hard to build the body you want. It requires countless hours of painful workouts, hundreds of simple meals, and missed experiences. It's also hard to see your body atrophy and fail as you age.

It's hard to build a strong, healthy mind. It requires uncomfortable daily stillness and introspection. It's also hard to see your mind become scattered and unfocused.

It's hard to build a career connected to your purpose. It requires risk and the development of a deep self-awareness of your competencies and deficiencies. It's also hard to spend most of your adult life working in a career you hate.

It's hard to build financial freedom. It requires disciplined expense management and hours of hard work to earn and invest for your future. It's also hard to live paycheck to paycheck with no plan to escape.

So, yes, life is hard. But fortunately, you get to choose your hard.

The Fight of Your Life

As Anthony Bourdain knew, much of our success is determined by our ability to resist the voice in our head and act in spite of it.

We're all waging a constant battle between short-term pleasure and long-term meaning and fulfillment.

It's always going to be easier to let "that guy" in our head win.

But always remember: This is the fight of your life, and you are in control of the outcome.

Today, and all days, I hope that you outwit "that guy" in your head.