A few weeks ago, I shared a piece on my ​Anti-To-Do List​ and the general merits of using inversion to improve your life.

The idea was straightforward:

1. Write down what you want to avoid doing.
2. Avoid doing those things.

I've gotten a lot of value from using inversion like this as a tool to provide clarity on my actions and avoid painful mistakes.

As the late Charlie Munger famously said, "All I want to know is where I'm going to die, so I'll never go there."

But a few readers replied with an interesting question:

Doesn't focusing on what you don't want make you more likely to get it?

This raises an important point that I've never addressed directly:

Inversion is merely a lens in your life toolkit.

You look through it briefly to see the world differently, but then you have to remove it to see the world as it is.

If you leave the negative, inverted lens on for too long, you may fall victim to a science-backed life trap that we all need to avoid...

There's an idea called Black Coffee Theory that illustrates the trap:

Imagine you walk you into a coffee shop.

When it's your turn to order, the barista asks you what you want.

"I don't know. But I definitely don't want black coffee," you say.

The barista looks confused, "Ok...but what do you want?"

"I'm not sure. All I know is I just really don't want black coffee. I can't stand black coffee. I won't drink black coffee. Anything but black coffee."

The barista shrugs, takes your payment, and tells you it'll be a few minutes.

After handling several other customers, the barista walks over to the drink station to make your coffee, but forgets what you ordered.

"Hmmm, what was it?" they think to themselves. "I remember they kept saying black coffee. Black coffee...that's right."

And after five minutes, you're handed a beautiful, bitter, piping hot cup of exactly what you didn't want.

Black Coffee Theory says that the world will deliver what you focus your energy towards.

Focus on what you don't want (the black coffee) and the world will deliver just that. Focus on what you do want (perhaps a cappuccino) and the world will deliver that instead.

It may sound like a mystical manifestation concept, but in fact, this general idea is substantiated by science:

In 1987, a Harvard researcher named Daniel Wegner conducted ​an experiment​ where he asked participants to verbalize their stream of consciousness for five minutes, saying whatever came to mind.

One group of participants was told to explicitly avoid thinking about a white bear. They were given a bell to ring each time the thought of a white bear crept into their thoughts.

The result: They rang the bell constantly, unable to avoid the white bear creeping into their consciousness.

In a follow-up, all of the participants were told to actively think about a white bear. Interestingly, the group who had initially suppressed the thoughts of the white bear found themselves thinking about it more often than the group who didn't.

This effect became known as Ironic Process Theory, which says that the deliberate attempt to suppress a thought may unintentionally amplify it.

The implications of this are significant because your thoughts are the first domino in a chain that quickly cascades into your reality.

The ancient philosopher Lao Tzu captured this well:

"Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny."

If you give too much energy to the negative—what you want to avoid—your entire identity can slowly start to become organized around that thing.

Your words, actions, habits, and character become enmeshed in that thing.

And as Lao Tzu pointed out thousands of years ago, your destiny follows.

You say things like...

• "I never want to be broke"
• "I never want to be in another relationship like my last one"
• "I don't want to end up like my parents"
• "I don't want to work in a job I hate"

But...

• You don't have a clear vision of what abundance looks like to you.
• You can't articulate what an energizing relationship feels like.
• You don't focus on how you do want to end up.
• You can't paint a clear picture of a job you love.

A life built entirely around what you don't want is a life controlled by it.

The antidote is simple (and leverages the science in your favor):

Create a vivid image of what you do want.

• "I never want to be broke" becomes "I want to build a life where money is a tool for creating impact and experiences."
• "I never want to be in another relationship like my last one" becomes "I want a partner who makes me feel calm, respected, and energized."
• "I don't want to end up like my parents" becomes "I want to be the type of parent my kids will want to hang out with when they're adults."
• "I don't want to work in a job I hate" becomes "I want to be excited to go to work on Monday morning."

When you define what you actually want with clarity, your brain's monitoring system starts scanning for that. You'll notice opportunities you previously missed. You'll meet people you would have glanced by. You'll make decisions from a position of strength rather than weakness. You'll operate from a confident footing instead of a fearful one.

Your words, actions, habits, and character will start organizing around the life you want, not the one you're avoiding.

If you hate black coffee, stop ordering it.

Your thoughts are your order to the universe. Treat them accordingly and you'll make sure you get the coffee you actually want.